Throughout recent weeks I saw lots of posts of people who summarised their accomplishments in 2018.
These were lists of impressive things. I am full of admiration for people who achieve the goals they set. I scrolled down Instagram and saw similar posts by Holly Branson (Richard Branson’s daughter) and thought: “Of course, you published a book, of course you made amazing connections with people and accomplished lots of your projects because you have the money and life that makes it easier for you than for most people in the world…”
On the other hand, I realize, that there are many people who also have lots of money and don’t do much in life. So, Holly does an amazing job. Regardless.
My 2018 was the year that I will remember forever. I moved forward in developing a business model in teaching English that works for me. I made the money I realistically planned to make. I did some travelling but didn’t really blog much. Neither did I make videos on my projects that I wanted so badly. I didn’t find a place to live that I love. It would be ungrateful to say I achieved little but it would be an exaggeration to say that I succeeded business wise to follow other’s 2018 accomplishments posts.
Despite working lots and giving my heart to teaching Poles, I spend a chunk of 2018 on trying to straighten relationship with my mum which I always found complicated. I did lots of work on my thoughts so that I could think of my mum well. We went through more fun moments together than in the past and even though we still have ups and downs I start seeing that practicing empathy slowly starts paying off. I have none else in my close family, so it is a big deal for me.
The whole work on the relationship with my mum was connected to meeting someone I fell in love with. I got confused and perplexed in my feelings. The man I met was overcoming alcohol addiction. Having lost my father to alcohol, I felt so connected to this person that I immersed myself in relationship with him. Seeing how well he was doing on not drinking, I wanted to figure out why so many people drink, so I started reading anything I could about addictions, childhood traumas and PTSD. In my view, lots of people who have drinking problem suffer from mental disorders and alcohol helps them to diminish their pain.
As a daughter of an alcoholic, I even joined ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) in hope to understand my thinking mechanisms better and get to know where distortive thinking of addicts come from. ACOA helped me lots because I realized that there are many people in this world who go through rough times. Way worse than I used to think I went through. The meetings also taught me listening without judgment.
I wanted to be that person who offers compassion and understanding to another human being. I truly did the best I knew of loving.
At a crucial point of our relationship, just before a trip that we planned together, I was challenged by the very same man to the point where I literally had to get myself into a safe place in a matter of 30 minutes. I was insulted and ridiculed. Lost money I invested in the trip. I decided to travel regardless.
Would these count as 2018 achievements?
Building a business I can take anywhere, improving the relationship with my mum and finding love were my 3 goals I returned to Poland for. They took me 1.5 year to giving me an impression of accomplishment. Now, the two are work in progress and probably will be for a long time which is actually the way to go.
I am fine. Witnessing my ex struggling in his bad days and seeing way too many drunk men in miserable state on Polish streets made me significantly reduce the amount of alcohol I drink. I nearly have none and the goal is to totally stop drinking one day.
My life is a bit boring now but my stomach is flat 🙂 Perhaps this is going to be my best deal of 2018. And the next partner I choose will not drink. That’s the 2019 plan!