Hi. I am Malgosia. I was born in a small town of Eastern Poland. My mum is an archeologist and my dad an electrician engineer. My mom really wanted me and my dad was super happy when I was born. He used to play mandoline for me and called me a genious when I was little.
My dad passed away when I was 4.5 years old. My mom gave me lots of freedom and space, so I could do what I wanted. Eversince I remember, I dreamt about travelling abroad, meeting people from all over the world and learning foreign langauges.
I left Poland at 19. I lived in Italy, Spain, Colombia, Scotland, England, Germany, Madagascar, Vietnam and Thailand.
At 23 I met a very intelligent and handsome Colombian man who came from a wealthy and loving family. I even called him my soulmate. We lived in Madrid for a short while and then moved together to his family home in the Colombian capital – Bogota.
I speak nearly 5 languages and have friends all over the world. For the last two years I have been running my own company called The Alternative Ideas where I help people to learn English and mentor them in making life changes they deserve.
It was always my dream to have my own business. I love my job, my company’s mission “Make Friends, not War”, and I live on my terms.
If I want to ditch everything and travel somewhere, I can do it because I can work remotely. I am free and don’t need to ask anyone for permission.
If you look at me you may think that I am the lucky one…
But I am also Małgosia and this is my story too:
I was born in coummunist Poland to mom who as far, as I remember struggled with depression and dad who was a very intelligent guy but loved drinking.
He died due to overdose of alcohol when I was 4.5 years old and it all happened before my eyes.
Eversince I rememeber I wanted to travel the world and get away form where I lived.
I left Poland at 19. Firstly, I moved to Italy where I faced a reality of living with no documents and work permit. To resolve this problem, I got married to an Italian guy I was in a relationship with. I thought that it was the only option I had. The day of our wedding was one of the worse days of my life. I knew, that I was making a mistake.
Two years later I went through a divorce and met a man I fell madly in love with. After a short stint in Spain, we moved all the way to Colombia. Although we had strong feelings for each other, we didn’t make it. Almost every argument we had, ended with the following violent sentence: “If you don’t like it, fuck off to Poland”.
So I did.
I kept hearing these words in my head for a long, long time after I left Colombia.
I arrived back in Poland extremely anxious, with a broken heart and 35 Euro in my pocket.
By that time Poland joined UE and I could work legally. I soon immigrated to Scotland where I worked long hours as a waitress for minimum wage and eventually moved to England. I worked in different places until I finally got ‘an office job’ – something that almost every Polish girl in the UK dreamt of.
I lived in many countries. I met many people with whom I made lifelong connections but my three attempts to forming a relationship ended disaster.
I launched my own company 2 years ago but before it happened, I was often underpaid and undervalued as an employee, and as a person. I spent over 10 years of my life trying to get well-paid and so called ‘a good job’, so that I could at least succeed in career life.
One time, I got a dream job that paid well and included lots of world travelling. My first training took a place in Australia. The world seemed to be at my feet. However, I was made redundant after two months, as I wasn’t ready to ‘deliver’.
I am hundreds of unanswered CV’s, months of unemployment and thousands of anxious mornings when I used to wake up worried if I will ever make it.
I consider myself a success because I bounced back despite the amount of failures and hardships I went through.
The above are only two, rather extreme examples. They don’t include all details and are ment to illustrate that we are the story we tell ourselves. We may want to make sure, we tell ourselves a valuable one. Not to appear well to others but to embrace who we fully are.
How many different stories your life can make for? How would these stories be like?
Try to make a similar exercise. Just write an idealized and the worse version of your life story. Compare them and extract truthful information from both. Then write the third version. How do you feel?